His Salvation
by LadyxShihoun
Summary: The war with Madara is over and the world is in a temporary peace. Sasuke (knowing all of the truth) having no reason to loathe Konoha finally decides to return...Warning: there will be some YAOI moments
1. Chapter 1

His Salvation

Stage One: Denial

Was he seriously letting me stay here? After everything I've done, all the mental scars I personally carved into his being, yet he forgives me so easily? Ever since the war ended, and I had learned the truth from my own undead brother-I didn't know what to do with myself. My whole life had been nothing but vengeance and hatred and grudges. But I had none of that now. I felt like a hollow shell, nothing in the inside. Just a body with barely a soul. Honestly I didn't see any reason for living anymore. But he wouldn't let me give up. Matter fact he yelled at me for thinking such "thoughts". Why did he care so much? Every one, even Sakura, had given up on me. Hell she had plotted to kill me! When I came back to Konoha I was horridly welcomed with sneers and disgusted looks. They saw me nothing more than a traitor. It hurt so bad to see those familiar faces all turn on me. It had squeezed my heart, made my eyes fill with salty water. He was also by my side, comforting me-he actually yelled at anyone who glanced at me in disgrace. He'd hug me a lot too. He skin was so warm then. Ever since I returned, I've been longing for his touch. To feel his warmth against me, give me hope; let me know that I'm not alone. I felt so pathetic. Why couldn't he just let me die?

* * *

Swinging and jumping off branches was Naruto's secret way of relieving his stress and anger. He was so pissed at the people of Konoha, especially his friends. Yes, Sasuke had done a lot of bad things, but he was confused then. He didn't know the truth and was controlled by lies and deception. But he knows everything now and he's willing to chose good again but why won't anyone acknowledge that! Naruto bared his teeth and growled as he jumped off another thick branch, flying into the air, letting the rush of the wind calm his nerves before dropping onto another branch. His peachy skin was drenched in sweat, and he breathed deeply trying to calm his anger. As much as it frustrated him that everyone had turned their backs on their own he made it his resolve to protect Sasuke. He wouldn't let anyone harm him-physically and mentally. He would be his hope. He would even be his reason to live if it came down to that. Naruto was never going to give up on Sasuke.

He took a break on the branch, sitting on it leaning his back against the thick tree trunk. He took off his headband and wiped his sweaty forehead with one hand and ruffled his blonde hair with the other. He stared at his forehead protector baring the symbol of his village-the Hidden Leaf. He could see his reflection in the metal part that had the symbol engraved upon it. His blue eyes were kind of weary but nonetheless still filled with energy. Naruto imagined his eyes being red. Like Sasuke's. He wondered what people thought when they saw his sharingan. Red eyes were definitely not normal-did people see a monster? Did they cower because one look into those monstrous eyes would most likely lead to their deaths? The sharingan was a special technique passed only through Uchiha genetics after all, and they were a very feared clan. That's why they're all gone. When Naruto first saw Sasuke's sharingan, he seriously saw himself. But he wasn't too sure why. Naruto was so enveloped in his musing that he didn't notice the person standing in front of him, staring down at him, like he were superior.

"Yo, Naruto are ya gonna sit there and daze off or are we gonna finish this mission?" it was none other than Kiba. A wolf like boy with messy dark brown hair and wild dark eyes. Naruto wasn't one to pay attention to details but if he could remember anything about Kiba it was the crimson tattoos upon both his cheeks.

"Oh, didn't see ya there Kiba"

"Psh, someone could've easily killed ya" Naruto chuckled lightly. He was stressing so much he had completely let his guard down. Kiba rolled his eyes,

"Come on Akumaru's waiting, and I want to finish these missions before the Fire Festival begins" Naruto's eyes widened. He utterly forgot about the Fire Festival. It was usually held every year in Konoha but ever since the village was destroyed by Pein (and his other five forms), all festivals and cultural events had been held off.

"Yeah, we should finish them quickly" Naruto said.

* * *

I couldn't find any other way to relief my pain than to cut myself. I was hesitant at first, but when I slashed the kunai against my wrist cutting that perfect spot that made my body tremble in desire-I couldn't stop myself from cutting all over my arms. I know he'd be mad at me. Honestly when I was done with my session with the sharp weapon, I was scared of what he'd think. I lye on the rooftop of this rotting, rusted abandoned apartment complex. Why he lived here, I don't know. I didn't have a home to go back to so he made me stay here. And I hated it here. I hated how this building was neglected and left to rot. It reminded me too much of my past-before I knew why Itachi-my dead brother- had left me standing on the blood of my massacred people. I closed my eyes and inhaled softly. I wanted to count the hours it would take for him to come back to me. The wind blew lightly and it kissed my skin gently as if it were assuring me. I grinned. I knew I felt more for Naruto then I was supposed to, or wanted to. Every time he was around me I'd get this hot feeling in my gut. My frozen heart would gradually continue to melt from his sunny presence. He had this bright, spirit with overwhelming energy that sometimes boggled me. He had his own unique ways of showing kindness and slowly was filling my empty being with his unconditional warmth. It was a fact that he'd never abandon me. Maybe that's why he took a liking to this decomposing building. He'd never leave me. Yet I was scared. What if I fail to recover from all I've been through? What if he becomes fed up with all of my depressing crap? I let out an exhausted sigh. I don't think I'd want to live anymore if he left me. I placed a clenched hand over my heart. When did I become so damn soft? I remembered all of the adventures I had with team seven. I admit I felt a special bond towards Naruto then, but it was more of a brotherly bond-not the kind of connection I want to have with him now. I didn't want to be seen as that to him anymore; especially when I dishonored and betrayed him. We couldn't have a brother-brother relationship. Whatever bond we have now-I knew for sure-it was a forbidden one.

* * *

"Tsunade-sama should really stop giving us such easy missions" Kiba said, he and Naruto swiftly traveled through the trees back to their village.

"Good luck convincing her not to" Naruto retorted, causing Kiba to grimace.

"Like I'd risk my life asking" they dropped to the ground, landing directly in front of the large iron gates of Konoha. The whole village was surrounded by a huge wall, which was guarded by special forces.

"Hey! Open the damn gate already!" Naruto yelled. The gate opened upon his request, and the two ninjas went into their home once more. Kiba went his to report their completed missions to Tsunade-the godaime of the Hidden Leaf- and Naruto headed to Sasuke. Of course after stopping at his favorite place in the whole world, Ichiraku's Ramen shop. He could smell the arousing scent of brewed broth and freshly prepared miso ramen. It was as if Ichiraku knew he was coming. The second Naruto stepped into the shop he was greeted with a large bowl of his favorite dish, miso ramen with roasted pork fillet and extra onions.

"So my hunch was correct you are back from your mission" Ichiraku, the boss himself, said with a wrinkly smile. The old man was aging more and more lately.

"You know me so well, old man" Naruto said taking a pair of chopsticks placed next to the bowl, and breaking the melded together wood apart. He clapped his hands, mouth watering, and dug into the bowl immediately.

"Hey, this ones on the house, k" Ichiraku said, Naruto, with a mouth full of ramen, smiled and thanked him. This shop was Naruto's sanctuary and not because of the delicious smell and food that surrounded him. This place had so much history, it was literally his childhood-back when he was a little kid Ichiraku was one of the people that saw him as a person instead of the nine-tailed beast that slept within him. He had been made peace with the beast now, but it was hard dealing with it in the past and this shop was always his place of peace. Not even the beast could ruin his moments of eating at Ichiraku's. Naruto had eaten everything from the bowl, leaving the broth to drink out of. He picked up the dish in his big hands and gulped all of it down in one go. He slammed the bowl back on the counter.

"Phew, I'm stuffed" Ichiraku placed a medium sized paper bag on the counter. Naruto already knew what was inside. It was for Sasuke.

"Tell him he can come by anytime he wants to," the old man said. That's another thing Naruto loved about this place. No one was judgmental or prejudice. With the paper bag in one arm, he headed in the direction of the abandoned apartments. He only hoped Sasuke hadn't done anything stupid while he was gone.

* * *

I knew all too well that presence that lurked a few yards away from me. That presence had been there for quite awhile, but I've ignored it. I figured she didn't have anything to say. Probably making sure I wasn't up to any mischief. I frowned in disdain, maybe I did care a little of her being here. I remained silent though, hoping she'd eventually leave. The only person I wanted to see was Naruto, everyone else just pissed me off. Bad luck for me, she decided to approach me, and even worse crying.

"Why Sasuke?" Sakura sobbed.

* * *

**A/N: Yo! So for those who haven't headed the summary, this is indeed a YAOI type story, of course this chapter contains none but in the future there will be many of those moments, SO, just warning anyone who isn't comfortable with some serious boy to boy action. **


	2. Chapter 2

His Salvation

Stage Two: Anger

"Why Sasuke?" Sakura sobbed as she approached me ever so slowly. Ugh! Why the hell is she always so aggravating! What the hell is 'why Sasuke' suppose to fucking mean! I busy trying to find myself and she never fails to be there to annoy the hell out of me. I stood from my spot, my back towards her.

"Look Sakura" I said in the calmest tone I could muster.

"I… You should leave-

-Not until you answer me!" she suddenly shouted like a wailing banshee. There was so much quavering and hurt in her voice, it made she shudder in guilt. What answer was I suppose to give? Oh, sorry for fucking up your life, hope you forgive me, sincerely Sasuke? She always expected so much from me-I was no different than any other human. I could feel pain; I could feel sadness, yet why did she see me so differently. Why did she always look at me like I was some sort of… Savior. I was the one who needed saving. Not her. Never her. She wasn't even there for me when I was at my lowest. When the darkness was shrouding me in its cold embrace, welcoming me as if I were a lost friend. When I was in the abyss of poison made from all of the lies and agony. I had fallen. And he was there to drag me out of the darkness and force the light upon me. He was the only there for me. He was my savior.

"Answer me!" she shouted again. I faced Sakura. She looked the same as usual. Short pink hair, green eyes, and creamy skin. Tears flowed down her cheeks in heavy waves; her countenance was distraught. What the hell was she so upset about?

"I won't ask again- my tone was rising, filling with bitter anger.

-Just go"

"No!" I snapped. My eyes turned red, my sharingan blinded me from the reality. It sent me into another world so I wouldn't witness the destruction I was going to cause.

* * *

Naruto arrived just in time to stop Sasuke from killing Sakura. He had the Uchiha in a tight headlock, having wrestled him to the ground.

"What the hell are you doing Sakura!" Naruto yelled, he'd been gone for only a few days and they were already trying to kill each other.

"I just wanted answers," she barely whispered. Sasuke was struggling with him, writhing and thrashing in his arms. There was so much murderous intent radiating from his being.

"Just get out of here Sakura" Naruto said calmly.

"But" Sakura didn't mean to create such a heavy atmosphere, neither want to influence Sasuke to kill her. But ever since his return she wanted answers so badly that she couldn't sleep. Every day Sasuke roamed her thoughts; he wouldn't leave her alone until she knew the truth. Why did he leave her? Even when she was willing to betray her village as well just to be with him.

"Sakura. I realize you have a lot of questions for Sasuke, but as you can see, he's not in his right mind to be answering anything" Naruto said. She nodded and reluctantly left the apartment complex.

"Alright Sasuke you can calm down now" as if on cue the sharingan retreated from his eyes bringing back his original pale onyx orbs.

When I finally came to my senses Naruto was holding my tightly on the ground in a headlock, that hurt.

"W-what are you doing you twit!" I complained, he let go of me and I crawled away from him.

"Sakura was here," Naruto said,

"You tried to kill her" well that's not surprising, I thought. She was getting on my last damn nerve with all her 'I want answers, shit. I guess from her point of view she had every right to want to ask me questions, she was madly in love with me after all. It was just bad timing. I looked at the blonde in front of me. He was back from his missions.

"Your back" I said in realization. Naruto chuckled; it was so warm and welcoming. My insides became warm.  
"Missed me?" Hell yes! I wanted to say, but that would be to awkward so I answered like I would in reality.

"Me, miss you, you must've fell on your head" he laughed.

"You know, I did fall on my head during one of my missions" I rolled my eyes. One thing for sure, Naruto was his own person from beginning to end. That added to my attraction for him even more…attraction? He held up a paper bag,

"From Ichiraku" I stood and walked over to him, taking the bag. As usual it had dumplings and miso ramen.

"Come one, lets go inside"

I had my own room, but it felt more comfortable being around Naruto. That lonely feeling was gone, and his constantly radiating warmth was filling me. I sat on his bed, pulling out a Styrofoam cup filled with miso ramen.

"I have a table," Naruto said matter-of-factly. I glared at him dangerously, only to get a silly smile making my cheeks burn a little from such cuteness…cuteness? Since when have I ever thought of Naruto as cute? I took wooden chopsticks out of the bag.

"I'm serious, I don't like food on my bed" yeah right, I thought. I continued to ignore him and remove the plastic top from the cup. Instantly the broths salty steam filled my nostrils with a tasty smell. I was about to dig in, but Naruto, unexpectedly, snatched the chopsticks out of my hand.

"What the hell man, what did I just fucking tell you!" he yelled not angrily but in frustration. I glared at him again, giving him my best and-I'm-suppose-to-care look. He took the noodles from, and I sucked my teeth in annoyance. I was seriously hungry.

"Geez I'll eat at the damn table" I said getting off the bed. I snatched my meal back from him and stared him straight in the eyes, trying to seem as intimidating as possible. What an epic fail that was. Naruto had grown really tall these past years; he practically towered over me. And his eyes were so warm yet excitingly dangerous, it made me believe that nothing could intimidate him. I looked away in humiliation as he laughed at me. I felt the sudden urge to have a drink, a strong drink.

"Got any Sake" I said. Naruto lifted a blonde brow,

"Uh, yeah I'll go get it"

* * *

Naruto knew full damn well not to give Sasuke any Sake and now he was deeply regretting his mistake. The Uchiha was all over the place, slurring his words and cursing everything in existence.

"Fuckin wall, fuckin ramen, fuckin sky-agh, fuck fuck fuck" as much as Naruto wanted to stop his rant, the blonde just couldn't. He enjoyed watching Sasuke make a fool of himself. He watched him run into the table, and start a chain of curses from the pain. Naruto couldn't contain his laugh; he was so adorable. Sasuke looked at him with drawn together brows.

"Wha the fuck r you fuckin laufin at, eh!" he sloppily ran up to the blonde, whom was sitting on his bed, and tried to tackle him. But Naruto held him firmly by the waist, preventing him to go any further.

"I'm laughin at you, dumbass!" he laughed-savoring this preciously funny moment.

Sasuke could feel the heat from Naruto callous hands sink into his skin, and continue to fill him. It was such a comforting warmth, and he sighed in delight and placed his pale hands on Naruto's urging him to hold on tighter.

"Sasuke?" he heard his name and moaned. Oh how he loved to hear Naruto say his name. Of course he'd never admit that.

"Okay that's enough, you need to lye down" Naruto released his grip on Sasuke, causing him to fall right on top of him.

"Sa-Sasuke dammit cut it out!" He grabbed onto the his waist once more, trying to pull the Uchiha off of him but to no avail. Sasuke's arms were locked around Naruto's neck and he was snuggling his face into his neck. Naruto could feel a sudden lump, poking his leg. I can't believe it! He yelled in his head, he has a fucking boner!

"N…Naruto" Sasuke whispered so seductively. Naruto's cheeks became a pure sanguine and his inner core grew ever so hotter. He wanted to hold on to Sasuke, he wanted to rub himself against him, he wanted to remove the stupid clothes that kept their skins from touching, he wanted feel himself inside of him.

"What am I thinking!" Naruto yelled-he couldn't do that. Not while Sasuke is in such a pathetic state.

"I trus you Naruto" Sasuke slurred, holding on tighter,

"I trus you so much" Dammit why is he doing this to me! Naruto couldn't take it anymore; he couldn't contain his instincts that were screaming to fuck him already. He rolled on the bed so that Sasuke was under him. His onyx eyes were so intoxicatingly lustful. Naruto claimed his lips, roughly kissing such soft skin as if it were the last thing he'd do. Sasuke moaned from the intensity of this moment and gladly kissed back. The night sky seemed to obscure their forms as the clothes disappeared from their bodies. The room was hot and steamy with the arousing aura of sweet sex about to take place.

"Ah-ah-ah-ah" Naruto firmly clung to Sasuke's manhood and stroked it slowly and teasingly.

"Nnn-stop it, stop messing with me" Sasuke groaned. Naruto rubbed the top of it gently, as he licked the Uchiha's neck.

"Say it then" he knew it was wrong to do this, but they were words he had wanted to hear for a long time now.

"Say that I'm better than you"

"No, never-agh!" Naruto had quickened his hand motion, squeezing and tugging more forcibly on Sasuke's thing.

"I'm not gonna let you cum unless you say it" and he was serious, Sasuke could feel his peek arriving, but Naruto stopped all of sudden. He wanted to cry, he wanted to cum so badly.

"You're better than me!" Naruto smirked, and happily led Sasuke to his end.

The Uchiha gasped in pure ecstasy as he came. The blonde took his soaked fingers and placed two of them in Sasuke's mouth, who licked and sucked on them, coating them completely in saliva. When Naruto was sure his fingers were coated enough, he took them out of Sasuke's mouth, and didn't wait to stick them up his behind.

"Nng!" Sasuke clasped his teeth shut, as he tried to take the pain of being prostrated. With his free hand Naruto rubbed and pinched at Sasuke's nipples as he left wet kisses and hickeys all over his jaw line. Drool seeped from the sides of Sasuke's mouth as he began to feel an overwhelming sensation of pleasure wash over his body. Everything felt so good all of a sudden. Naruto took his fingers out of his behind and didn't hesitate to replace them with his enlarged manhood, earning a sweet luscious scream from his Uchiha. For a while Naruto thrust over and over into Sasuke, becoming quicker, and harder with each stroke as his release was drawing ever so nearer. With one strong and final stroke, Naruto came with a heart filled moan.

* * *

The sun's rays sneaked through the drawn curtains, lightly touching my face. I opened my eyes, and instantly felt an excruciating pain that felt worse than being thrown into a boulder (and I've been thrown into boulders plenty of times). I held onto my temples-so I had gotten drunk again. I heard a soft groan by my side. There was an arm securely wrapped around my waist and a body pressed against mine. I turned my head slightly to the side to peek at the person. My eyes widened in shock. Naruto!


	3. Chapter 3

His Salvation

Stage Three: Bargaining

"W-w-w-what the fuck are you doing here!" I shouted.

"Eh? Why are you getting so worked up this damn early in the morning" Naruto said/yawned. He sat up in the bed and with the arm around my waist pulled me to him. He kissed my cheek lightly, making my face become pure tomato red.

"Don't you remember how good I fucked you last night?" WHAT! My eyes widened like that of a lemur. I forced myself out of his arms, and jumped out of the bed.

"What do you mean by that! I…I-

"Sasuke...are those cuts on your arms?"

* * *

Naruto even admits to himself that when it comes to details, even the biggest details, he flunked to notice too much. But he felt truly horrible to not realize that Sasuke had been cutting himself. The pale boy had red slashes all over both his forearms, and it chilled his heart. Sasuke stared at him like some child found guilty of stealing candy. Naruto sighed deeply placing a hand on his hair and ruffling it softly. He figured it would come to this, but now he'd have to keep an eye on Sasuke-and considering that he actually has a lot of responsibilities now (being in ANBU and all) it'd be like trying to keep watch over a dust mite.

"I…I…I couldn't help myself and it-it felt so good" Sasuke was on the verge of tears.

"You hate me now don't you!" it was Naruto's turn to be wide eyed. He leaped out of the bed as well rushing up to Sasuke and embracing the fragile being in his warm arms.

"I don't hate you" He kissed the top of Sasuke's head gently,

"And don't ever say that again nor cut yourself anymore" Sasuke began to cry. He smothered his face in Naruto's broad chest and cried as hard as he could. Naruto rubbed his hand up and down his back, soothing him and whispering words of encouragement. This moment truly belonged to them. That is until a certain someone burst into the room.

"Dammit Naruto! You forgot we had a to help- Kiba stopped midsentence when seeing the two naked men hugging each other.

"Oh my God, you're a homo!"

* * *

I glared at the intruder angrily; just leave it to Kiba to be a mood killer.

"What the fuck Kiba get the hell outta here!" Naruto bellowed heatedly while pointing at the dog-boy. Kiba recoiled but he still remained in the boundaries of the door. I knew he wasn't going to leave, since he's paralyzed from shock, so I called on my sharingan. It rushed to my eyes, covering my original onyx color, and locked on to Kiba. When he stared into my eyes, and instantly, he was in my control.

"Get out of here and no one is to know about this or I will come to you in the darkness of night and make sure you suffer until you die" Kiba's eyes became pale with fear,

"O-okay" he said quickly, sounding completely under my hypnoses, and sprinted away from the room.

"Hey you didn't have to do that" Naruto said, I let out a short laugh,

"I meant it too, he'd better not say anything" I felt him begin to nuzzle my neck with his lips.

"You know I always liked that about you, so damn dangerous it's sexy" as much as I liked what he was doing I pushed him away.

"You haven't answered my question" I began. Naruto chuckled all cutely like he had no worries in the world.

"You seriously don't remember?" I tried to recall something but the only memory I had of last night was sitting at the table drinking Sake and eating miso ramen.

"Damn, and you were so vulnerable too" I glared at the blonde who was looking in some random direction eyes having drifted in the past turning hazy and infatuated with the memory. At that moment I knew what had happened. And I became very pissed off.

"How could you do that to me!" I shouted in such a high tone that I didn't know I could achieve.

"I was wasted and helpless and you took advantage of me!" Naruto linked his eyes onto mine his countenance shifted from aroused to saddened and guilty.

"I know you were helpless, but…I couldn't stop myself" I felt like crying again. I grabbed all of my clothes and ran out of his room, feeling flustered and humiliated. I knew I felt something for him, but I wasn't ready for something so dramatically sudden. And I trusted him. I trusted him so much that he was the only reason why I wanted to live. I felt like my hope was shattering. My heart was beginning to freeze again; I couldn't feel his warmth anymore.

"Wait Sasuke, come back!" I heard him call after me; I broke into a sprint.

"I'm sorry!" he was chasing after me. When I reached my room I slammed the door shut and locked it. Then my back hit against it and I slipped to the floor burying my face in my clothes and cried all over again. He banged on my door, begging me to let him in, to forgive him. But no matter how many apologies he'd give, I couldn't accept how pathetic I was. When did I become so fucking weak? I'm a Uchiha, a member of most feared clan in the world yet weakened by my stupid emotions.

"I don't wanna fucking feel anymore" I choked out; there was a kunai lying on the coffee table next to my bed. Gradually I walked over to the weapon, and hesitantly took it into my shaking hands. I held out my wrist and slashed; that familiar feeling of pleasure rinsed away my sorrow. I gasped as I continued to cut over and over and over.

* * *

Naruto heard a small gasp from the outside of Sasuke's room door, and with each sound of slashing he heard that same gasp. Shit he's cutting himself! Naruto kicked down the door and ran over to Sasuke grabbing the kunai out of his hand and pushing him onto his bed.

"You can't do this, it's not right!" he yelled at the trembling Uchiha. Sasuke wouldn't look at him; he just stared at the weapon, as if plotting how to take it back. His eyes were devoid of any hope. Naruto sucked his teeth,

"I'm sorry Sasuke, I can't take back what I did, and I swear on my life it won't happen again so please-he took his chin and forced him to look at him.

"Don't lose hope in me" Sasuke stared at him for a moment; his breathing became quicker and shorter. Soon he was coughing and gasping for air. He was hyperventilating! Naruto took him by the shoulders and shook him furiously,

"Breathe dammit!" but his attempt to reach him failed. He pushed Sasuke's back onto the mattress, pressing his mouth against his and exhaling deeply.

* * *

His lips felt so right. I knew he wasn't intentionally kissing me-I could feel his warmth returning to me and strengthen me. He was breathing into me, as if trying to send his overly energetic spirit into me and it worked. The emptiness was filling drastically. When he departed from me I almost wanted to whine like some small child. I stared into his blue eyes-they were so frightened.

"What are you afraid of?" I asked. Naruto cocked a blonde brow like I'd just asked the stupidest question.

"Your losing hope in me!" he blurted out,

"I know what I did was wrong but please-he stepped away from me.

-I don't know what'd I do with myself if something bad happened to you" my heart was hastily beating against my chest as if wanted to rip out and run to him. My body grew warmer and warmer, and my face felt flushed with an odd sensation. I could feel a chain being wrought upon my wrist and connecting to the blonde before me. The answer to this experience was on the tip of my tongue yet I couldn't put my finger on it.

"If you promise not to harm yourself, then I promise that if I ever hurt you again, I'll exchange my life for yours" Naruto said leaving the room but not before stopping at the borders of the door and confessing to me,

"I love you Sasuke"


	4. Chapter 4

His Salvation

Stage Four: A Soft Depression

It was summer time for all of the children of Konoha. A lot of them would run around the village so ecstatically and so innocent-it made me jealous. I sat on the rooftop of the abandoned apartment building, watching the children laughing and fooling around with pure joy. I don't even remember what it felt like to be happy. Hatred had been my only emotion for all of my life until now. My childhood had been spit on and rubbed in the dirt. I guess the time with team seven was nice, but they were all mad at me now. Well other than Naruto… Naruto…. That name was like a chime. It would ring in my mind sometimes, like a catchy musical tune that just stays there for a while. Naruto. I felt a smile coming on. I'm not a happy person and if I were smiling I was probably killing someone. It felt normal to smile over my crush. Yes, I figured out what that sensation was whenever he was around. Our brotherly bond was completely severed. Now it was on the verge of forming into lover's bond. The thick white cottons in the sky hid its blueness, but the sun still shown brightly through them warming the earth tenderly. The wind blew against my pale skin, nimbly tickling and caressing it as if trying to cheer me up. It was as if it were a sweet message from Naruto.

"I'm alright," I told myself, knowing full damn well it wasn't true. I was nowhere near alright. But I was getting closer to it, and that's enough to make me feel less bad. I felt a strong presence approaching me; I recognized this chakra as Kakashi's. I sighed, that last time I saw him I nearly killed him.

It didn't take long for my previous team leader to land kindly on the rooftop keeping a yard distance from me. I remained silent. I wasn't comfortable talking to anyone but Naruto.

"I was told to check on you every now and then" Kakashi began. That was no surprise.

"Naruto won't be back until tomorrow" that fucking long! I shouted in my head. How could he leave me like that? I wanted to cry again, but manned up and instead let out a long quivering sigh.

* * *

The moment Kakashi laid eyes on Sasuke he thought of death. His hair had grown darker than coal and his skin was so pale and sickly and oddly had red and light purple bruises on his exposed neck and shoulder. He was wearing a simple white shirt with long sleeves that hid his hands and black fitting pants. He could be misunderstood as another version of death due to his moribund look. Kakashi's student looked so lifeless that it made him want to cry. How could he let Sasuke fall into darkness? He wanted to apologize for not being the one to save him. He was their leader, they looked up to him, but he let them down. What kind of teacher is he? He felt like he should say something to Sasuke. He didn't want to leave him alone as well; at least not until Naruto got back. He stared up at the sky. Even though it was cloudy it was tranquil.

"Ka…- Kakashi swiftly looked to Sasuke, who's mouth was open as if ready to say something but couldn't find the words. His expression was even gloomier now. The pale boy let out a saddened sigh and continued to stare off into the distance.

* * *

I needed to tell Kakashi-sensei that it wasn't his fault that I ended up this way. If anyone it would be my older brother, but I had long forgiven him and now was dealing with the part of it being my fault. I was glad that he was there for Naruto when I had left the village. It must've been hard for him, when I had broke our old bond.  
"Don't blame yourself," I said standing from my spot,

"It has nothing to do with you" that came out crueler than I wanted, but since when have I ever been one to say nice things. I jumped from the rooftop, flipping in the air to slow my falling momentum and landed on the ground on the pads of my feet, feeling no impact. For the first time since I returned (which was a month ago) I wandered into the village. The children of the next generation had no idea who I was, so whenever I walked by they just smiled and waved-which really made me feel good. It wasn't until I reached the market place that I got the disgusted stares. I kept my gaze on the ground yet I could still feel numerous pairs of eyes burning me. I was going to give up and go back to the apartment complex, until I smelt fresh broth and miso. When I stopped and looked at the shop in front of me, the sign read, Ichiraku's. I lifted the white sheet that partially covered the entrance and sat at long stool placing my arms on the counter and staring straight into old man Ichiraku's face.

"Well well well, finally come out of the dark huh," Ichiraku said adding a haughty grin.

"You look like a wreck" oh that makes me feel ten times better-I wanted to say. But I was glad the old man was talking to me normally and not staring grossly at me like everyone else.

"Give me twenty minutes, I'll whip up my famous revival ramen" with that said the old man went to work. I knew Naruto loved this place, and I understood why. Back when we were kids, Naruto wasn't liked by anyone; everyone hated him because of the nine-tails inside of him. I remember seeing him crying sometimes, and he would always head in the direction of this place whenever he was down. I smiled in realization, this place had his warmth, it's as if he were sitting right next to me. I was really popular back then, and I still don't understand why, and it was funny (though I never showed it) to watch him puff up like blowfish because of my success. Yet, now that I know what it feels like to be isolated and unloved, I'm surprised he didn't become the same as me. How did he make it through those tough times when practically everyone had turned their backs on him and wouldn't spare him at least a look of sympathy?

"Done!" Ichiraku placed a large bowl of miso ramen bathed in a sweet broth, mixed with ginger, onions, and a dose of spicy pepper. A few pieces of pork were positioned on top of the noodles, along with cubed tomatoes. He placed another small plastic cup next to the bowl; it was filled to the top with wasabi.

"Uh…?" I was becoming nervous of what he wanted me to do with the wasabi; this wasn't a sushi shop.

"With every bite of noodles, you stick some wasabi in your mouth" Ichiraku explained. I gave him a do-I really-have-to-eat-this look.

"If ya don't I'll shove it down your throat" he said so cheerfully it made me shiver. I took chopsticks from a cup, snapped them apart, and ate. I did as I was told and stuck wasabi into every bite of noodles, and it had an amazing taste. It was like the spicy pepper and wasabi was steaming out my inner negativity and the sweet broth and ginger was filling me with extra warmness. From the corner of my eyes I saw Ichiraku grinning like he'd accomplished the biggest mission of his life.

The old man told me my meal was on the house, so I left the shop feeling refreshed but not new. I was still broken, but I no longer felt so sad. The sky had turned dark and the village had lit up into a series of bright lights. I decided it was time to go back to the abandoned complex. I took a short cut through the alleyways almost reaching the complex, until some guys stood in front of me blocking my path.

"If it isn't the traitor Sasuke Uchiha" I didn't know this person, or his posse.

"Ya know, it's amazing that you can get away with so much murder and be forgiven so easily," the man said, smacking a heavy weapon onto the palms of his hand. It was too dark for me to see exactly what it was, but I assumed it was something simple like a bat. I kept silent. They had every reason to be mad at me.

"So I guess we'll have to pass on judgment" with that said he tried to hit me with his weapon, but I easily dodged. These people were obviously not shinobi; otherwise I would've taken this situation a little more serious. The other guys joined in as well trying to hit or capture me, but it was too easy dodging them that I felt kind of upset. What the hell gave these idiots the right to pass judgment on me yet they can't even touch me? When they were all too tired to attack I left. It didn't take long to reach the comfort of my odd home and just when I thought I was in the clear-the whole ninja gang showed up. Or more as the guy ninja gang.

Kiba, Neji, Shikamaru, Bushy Brows, Chouji, even Shino was at the entrance. Just my fucking luck, I cursed in my mind. They didn't seem upset or vengeful so I approached them with caution. I watched Rock Lee nearly pass out in excitement,

"You aren't dead!" he yelled, I lifted a dark brow.

"I came to check on you and you were gone and I thought…I thought" the poor boy was about to cry,

"Oh Sasuke, I'm so glad your alive!" glad? That was an expression I got from no one other than Naruto. I didn't know what to feel from this histrionic statement.

"Where were you all this time, we've been searching everywhere for you" Shikamaru conveyed. I parted my lips to speak but nothing would come out. Were they really looking for me?

"Well are ya gonna answer the damn question?" Kiba said.

* * *

"I…I was" Neji interpreted his voice as coarse and exhausted. He was out all afternoon, yet he didn't seem suicidal. Not that he isn't. Based on Naruto's information Sasuke was well on the verge of ending his life. But he couldn't do that now. Neji still cared for his life but would be disappointed if he died before they got to fight. He could care less what Sasuke did in the past, he just wanted to see how strong he was now, and let him know that he was stronger.

"…I was at Ichiraku's" Kiba smelled the air. It was filled with the scent of fresh broth, ginger, spicy pepper, and delicious delicious pork. His mouth was watering like a dog,

"Yep, you were definitely there" he confirmed.

"Well now that we know your still around I'll be leaving" Shikamaru said, and left. Following after him was Chouji, then Kiba, Shino, Neji, and Rock Lee.

* * *

I was glad they left cause not a second later I started crying. So there were people who cared about me-not like how Naruto does, but enough to care for my life.

"You loser" I said to myself, since when did I become so soft. I went to my room and fell onto my bed. The mattress was poofy and cushy, like a cloud. I fell asleep instantly.

* * *

Naruto was filled with utter excitement as he rushed through the trees heading in the direction of his home and lover. He never knew it would be so difficult to be away from Sasuke for so long, not ever since he confessed his love. He wanted to get home right away and embrace his Uchiha and confess over and over. He wanted to kiss his warm lips; he wanted to screw him all over again. Of course, unless Sasuke got drunk again he'd never get the chance for a long while, but it was worth the thought. Tomorrow was the Fire Festival and he couldn't wait to take Sasuke there.


End file.
